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The Major Leagues

shutz — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 19:02:24 +0000

“I don’t understand why the team got rid of me.”

“Widegger, you’re an OK outfielder, but you’re too naive.”

“What do you mean? I never renegotiated my contract, and my stats are above average.”

“You haven’t heard what they’re saying? ‘You can catch more flies with money than with Widegger.’”

shutz — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 02:35:05 +0000

When the zoo was abandoned, many of the animals died, for lack of care.

Not the monkeys! They thrived, using their above-average intelligence (for animals) to mimic the humans who once took care of them.

They multiplied. There was monkey shit everywhere.

A sea of monkeys.

Monkey sea, monkey doo-doo.