50wordstories.ca » hand

The Key to the Internet

shutz — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:21:49 +0000

“I hold, in my hand, the entire Internet!”

“What, in this tiny USB key? Impossible. The Internet is ever-changing.”

“This device holds not the data of the Internet, but the fractal algorithm which can iteratively generate all the content that will ever be on the Internet.”

“Cool.”

“I thought so.”

The Alien Invasion Song (part 1)

shutz — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:28:00 +0000

I thought I’d have this song ready before the end of the weekend. It’s the reason for the lack of updates since Wednesday. Anyway, here are the three 50-word parts of the song. It’ll probably take me another week, at least, to record everything and get the full song ready for posting here. In the meantime, you can enjoy the words outside their musical context, and evaluate them on their own merit.

And don’t bother looking for rhymes, I didn’t put any in there, at least not on purpose.

When the aliens came, we thought we were ready
When they landed, we cautiously greeted them
But we kept our arsenal behind our backs

In friendship we held out our hand
And we secretly made a fist with the other

We thought we were ready
But they had us already!

Neat Trick

shutz — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 15:00:19 +0000

“Here’s a neat trick,” he said.

He opened his mouth, real wide. He inserted his hand, then his arm, down his throat. His shoulder dislocated to go farther down. He stopped. Then his arm came back out, and he pulled himself inside out.

“What do you think?”

“You’re still ugly.”