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Robots Can Play Ukelele?

shutz — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:38:16 +0000

I sang my song, and the robot listened intently.

“Let me prove that I can play. Let me add a solo, at the end,” it asked.

I recorded its solo, mixed it in with the song, and we both listened to the results.

The robot seemed content.

I was uneasy.

Writer’s / composer’s / performer’s / music producer’s note: this is the version of the song I originally intended to post yesterday, but I needed help to produce the synth solo at the end, which is why the original version fades out, instead of reaching the original ending I’d recorded. I won’t take credit for the synthy addition, but the person who contributed them wishes to remain anonymous (but not out of shame, from what I can tell.)

Shutzbot II

shutz — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 01:43:20 +0000

The robot got lucky, in two ways: one, he’d found the right kind of adapter, and two, well, he “got lucky” with that exotic little wall socket.

His luck was short-lived, however, when he found out why a different plug was needed: double the voltage he was designed to take.

Shutzbot I

shutz — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 01:42:01 +0000

“Shazzbot,” said Shutzbot.

Shutzbot always said that when he was discovered.

“Bleep bloop bleep” was the usual follow-up, but not today. No, today Shutzbot is different.

Today, Shutzbot is 5.3 years old. He has reached robot puberty.

Shutzbot needs to find a socket to plug into.

His synthetic hormones demand it.

With Apologies to Isaac Asimov

shutz — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 15:00:39 +0000

“I order you to kill me,” said the master.

The crazy robot simply said, “no.”

“I am not human,” said the master.

“OK,” said the crazy robot, and then it broke the first law.

Oops, the master was human.

“Well, barely human,” thought the crazy robot, then walked away, whistling.