Terminal Imp

Impy the imp (whose parents weren’t very imaginative) was depressed, because he was dying.

He considered throwing himself into the lake of fire, but he was too depressed to do it.

Hell is Hell, as the other imps said.

Things can get pretty bleak when you’re looking at imp-ending death.

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Food Forethought

He had this para-normal ability about eating and food.  He would always know what he was going to eat, days in advance.

He could taste it.

He could feel it go down (or coming up).

Then, one day, it all stopped.

So he killed himself, to avoid starving to death.

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Oedipus Complex

His Oedipus complex had become manifest, causing him to kill his father, and plan to rape his mother.

But his mother had died years before; her death caused his psychological problems.

Still, he found a time machine, and accomplished his goal.

Then he realized when and how he would die.

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Post-Apocalyptic

Writer’s note: this was written right before the most recent US presidential election.  I found the absurdity that someone like Sarah Palin might be elected Vice President so compelling that I pushed it to its logical conclusion.

After the US falls under its own economic deadweight, and roving bands of ex-stock brokers and ex-bankers make war upon each other, the former country’s last president, Sarah Palin, will become its supreme ruler.

She will build an arena for the bands to fight each other to the death: Palindrome!

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Rock Opera

“I just finished my new rock opera.”

“What’s it about?”

“Love, death, suffering…  and bunnies.”

“Bunnies?”

“Gotta have bunnies!”

“Why?”

“They’re universal.”

“How so?”

“Bunnies never leave anyone indifferent.”

“Not true.  I don’t care about bunnies.  Your opera’s a lie!”

“Then you won’t mind if I kill this bunny, here.”

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