Two enemy pilots crashed onto an uninhabited planet while engaged.
They gradually learned to trust each other, and became good friends.
The alien pilot told the human he was pregnant (don’t ask) then died.
The human’s bittersweet joy at this event was interrupted when thousands of baby aliens devoured him.
He was dating two girls at the same time. Except, one was actually his mother. And the other was his sister. Actually, his sister was technically his brother. Also, his father was actually an alien from Andromeda. Their memories had all been wiped. This all happened in an alternate timeline.
The squiggles had to be an alien message. He looked again, hoping to see some overall pattern… For weeks, he’d found these squiggles that no human hands could have made on his papers. He left, frustrated.
A spider fell into his ink, then walked around the blank sheets of paper.