Terminal Imp

Impy the imp (whose parents weren’t very imaginative) was depressed, because he was dying.

He considered throwing himself into the lake of fire, but he was too depressed to do it.

Hell is Hell, as the other imps said.

Things can get pretty bleak when you’re looking at imp-ending death.

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The Quest, part 7

“But, that pile of straw is in the cell, with us!”

“Shut up, loser.  They want us alive, otherwise they would have killed us already.  Once they see the fire, they’ll have to let us out.  Then we can make our move!”

“Which would be?”

“Getting out of here, dummy!”

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The Quest, part 6

They put her in a cell with that loser, Prince Charming, who she’d come to rescue.

Before the irony became too much to bear, she said, “hand me that spoon.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll use that spoon to reflect that beam of sunlight onto that pile of straw.”

FIRE!

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Racism

“I had to fire half my staff.”

“You only had four employees!”

“So?  I still had to fire two people.”

“Why?”

“When my best floor technician, Harry White, left, I hired two asian techs to replace him.”

“But, didn’t you just fire two asians?”

“Two Wongs don’t make a White.”

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Sales Pitch

When John died, representatives of Heaven and Hell showed up.

“Come with me, and live in eternal bliss, love and happiness,” said the angel.

“Sounds boring, don’t it?” said the little devil.  “Come with me, it’ll be fun!”

“Your pants are on fire,” said John.

“Occupational Hazard,” said the devil.

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