Think of the Children!

“Save my children!” screamed the woman as the firemen carried her out.

Hank went back in.

Avoiding a sudden fireball to his right, he slips through a hole in the wall to his left, into the next room. Looking around, he sees them.

“Dolls,” he snarls as the building collapses.

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Surprise Witness

“How does the defendant plead?”

Just then, the defendant got up and announced:

“Not guilty, your honor, on account of my wife not being dead after all!”

Before anyone could object, the doors to the courtroom flew open, and an obviously zombified woman walked in.

“My love!” said the defendant.

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Ad Lib

“That woman has two vaginas! What the–”

“CUT! What the hell do you think you’re doing?” asked the director.

“Well, I thought the original line was a bit predictable, so I thought I might just–” said the actor.

“Play it as written!”

“I’m firing my agent tonight,” muttered the actor.

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