Terminal Imp

Impy the imp (whose parents weren’t very imaginative) was depressed, because he was dying.

He considered throwing himself into the lake of fire, but he was too depressed to do it.

Hell is Hell, as the other imps said.

Things can get pretty bleak when you’re looking at imp-ending death.

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Online Dating at its Finest

For the past month, none of the girls on this online dating site had replied.

He was depressed, now.  All alone in this basement he hadn’t left for weeks, he lived on a diet of Cheetos and Pepsi.

A freak virus had wiped out humanity, but he still didn’t know.

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Paranoïa

“It’s like everybody’s out to get me.”

“How does that make you feel?”
“Well, kinda helpless. And depressed. Even my best friends seem to be avoiding me. Heh, I must be imagining things.”

“Even if you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you.”

Psychoanalyst: Satan’s new hobby.

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