For the past month, none of the girls on this online dating site had replied.
He was depressed, now. All alone in this basement he hadn’t left for weeks, he lived on a diet of Cheetos and Pepsi.
A freak virus had wiped out humanity, but he still didn’t know.
FROM: THE WRITER
TO: PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN
APRIL 14TH 1865
THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT FROM 200 YEARS IN THE FUTURE STOP
THE PEOPLE OF EARTH WISH TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR INCOMPARABLE SERVICE TO HUMANITY STOP
ALSO WHEN YOU HEAR THE LINE: “YOU SOCK-DOLOGIZING OLD MAN-TRAP” REMEMBER TO DUCK STOP