Best That You Can Do

People visit Luna City all the time.

I arrived, did my business.  Then took the shuttle headed back to New York.

The shuttle dematerialized into tachyons, and was shot at the Earth.

The shuttle rematerialized before reaching its destination.

If you get caught between the Moon and New York City…

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Loneliness

The last man on Earth was lonely. So he cloned himself.

But that got boring fast: “I can’t stand talking to myself like that!” he would exclaim himself.

He would sometimes hope some aliens would drop by. Seeing new faces would be nice.

Even if they came to take over.

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Death(s)

The last man on Earth died for the fifteenth time.

The machine jolted him back to life, repairing any damage within minutes.

It did everything to keep him happy, producing entertainment, stimulating conversations, and everything else it thought he needed.

But it could not give him a purpose.

Meaningless immortality.

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The Telegram

FROM: THE WRITER

TO: PRESIDENT ABRAHAM LINCOLN

FORD’S THEATRE

APRIL 14TH 1865

THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT FROM 200 YEARS IN THE FUTURE STOP

THE PEOPLE OF EARTH WISH TO THANK YOU FOR YOUR INCOMPARABLE SERVICE TO HUMANITY STOP

ALSO WHEN YOU HEAR THE LINE: “YOU SOCK-DOLOGIZING OLD MAN-TRAP” REMEMBER TO DUCK STOP

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Des(s)ert

The Vampire sat with his friend Jake, the Last Man on Earth.

“I’m so hungry,” said the Vampire.

“So, just eat something.”

“Only human flesh will do, but if I eat you, I won’t have a friend to talk to anymore.”

“You can’t have your Jake and eat him, too.”

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The Song

The song was stuck in his head. He couldn’t remember the lyrics, but the melody wouldn’t go away. As he hummed tunelessly, others picked it up and also couldn’t get it out of their heads. Soon, everyone was humming it. And that’s how the song virus destroyed civilization on Earth.

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Slingshot

Computers pre-programmed to slingshot around the Sun to reach relativistic speeds, his journey seems to take only months, while decades elapse on Earth.  His destination: the closest Earth-like extra-solar planet.   After five subjective months, his ship wakes him.

Destination reached!  It looks like…

Earth?

Buggy software leads to pointless round-trip.

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