Today’s Forecast: Cloudy, with a Chance of Divorce

Clang!  She broke another plate.

“You asshole, you… MAN!” she screamed.

“Calm down…  Tell me, what did I do?” he said.

“Nothing…  YET!”


“I checked the ‘scope, earlier.  You’re going to do that SLUT from the coffee shop, tomorrow!”


“That thing is always accurate.”


“Shut up, asshole.”

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The Vampire sat with his friend Jake, the Last Man on Earth.

“I’m so hungry,” said the Vampire.

“So, just eat something.”

“Only human flesh will do, but if I eat you, I won’t have a friend to talk to anymore.”

“You can’t have your Jake and eat him, too.”

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