Hey, Maximum Johnny, you terrific ASSHOLE!
You’d love it here.
Yesterday, I got drunk, and then watched the Titty Parade!
It’s a weekly thing, here. Thousands of fleshy globes… bouncing to the music…
Then I got drunk again, and passed out. I came to in a pool of lava.
Hot!
Hi Grandma,
I brought the sweater you made, but it’s been so hot that I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet. I promise to wear it as soon as it gets a little cooler.
I said hi to Great-Grandpa. He blames you for ending up here.
Bye now!
Hi Mom,
I’m having a lot of fun on my trip. The weather’s been uniformly hot, and the people here are lots of fun.
Everybody’s who’s anybody is here.
Don’t worry about me, I’m wearing clean underwear, and I’m brushing my teeth after every meal.
Hell is fun!
Your Son