“Tomatoes always lose in a fight: they’re too fragile.”
“Yeah, but potatoes or carrots can’t stand the heat either, they just soften and fall apart.”
“So, who would win in a vegetable food fight?”
“Onions.”
“Why?”
“Onions are natural tear gas, for one. Plus, they are great mine layers.”
“Layers?”
Writer’s note: this was written right before the most recent US presidential election. I found the absurdity that someone like Sarah Palin might be elected Vice President so compelling that I pushed it to its logical conclusion.
After the US falls under its own economic deadweight, and roving bands of ex-stock brokers and ex-bankers make war upon each other, the former country’s last president, Sarah Palin, will become its supreme ruler.
She will build an arena for the bands to fight each other to the death: Palindrome!
I went back in time to tell myself this story was lame, to just scrap it, but then I later went back in time again to tell my meddling self to stop doubting myself. Then I got into a fight with myself. Oh, forget it, I fell down stairs, okay?