The Major Leagues

“I don’t understand why the team got rid of me.”

“Widegger, you’re an OK outfielder, but you’re too naive.”

“What do you mean? I never renegotiated my contract, and my stats are above average.”

“You haven’t heard what they’re saying?  ‘You can catch more flies with money than with Widegger.’”

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But Are They Legal Tender?

With the economy failing, no recovery in sight, the priest showed his solution to a friend.

“Jesus coins?” the friend asked.

“Exchange value guaranteed by our savior himself.”

“How’d you figure?”

“Money’s had a faith component since it stopped being worth its weight in gold.”

“Change you can believe in?”

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DVD From the Future!

“This DVD will show us the future!” he said.

“What did you waste your money on, now?  Some self-help guru’s prognostications?  Some crackpot financial analyst’s get-rich-quick scheme?” she said.

“No, this will be actual footage, from the future!  Watch!”

He starts it.

Footage from the lab.

White flash.

Then static.

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