“There I was, enjoying a nice restaurant meal, when these vampires burst in and scared everybody. I picked up my steak, pushed it into that vampire’s heart, and dusted him.”
“Stake isn’t spelled ‘S-T-E-A-K’.”
“Those vamps didn’t seem to know much about spelling.”
“Guess they should have stayed in school.”
He’d killed himself so many times that all his jokes about suicide rang hollow in his heart.
But he soldiered on, moving along the probability axis, from one alternate universe to another, killing any of his alternate selves that he found had not lived as worthy a life as his.