The Major Leagues

“I don’t understand why the team got rid of me.”

“Widegger, you’re an OK outfielder, but you’re too naive.”

“What do you mean? I never renegotiated my contract, and my stats are above average.”

“You haven’t heard what they’re saying?  ‘You can catch more flies with money than with Widegger.’”

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Professor Threelemmings

Professor Threelemmings had finally completed his device.

“This device,” he announced to his assistants, “will rid the world, nay, the entire universe, of something completely unneeded. Activate the device.”

There was a sudden flash!

“What’s disappeared?” asked an assistant.

“Nothing, it seems,” said a disappointed Professor Twolemmings, after looking around.

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