When she reached the age of eighteen, Penny shaved her head.
“Shave it all off,” she told her surprised hairdresser.
As Penny walked out of the salon, she was attacked by a gang of thugs who thought she was from a rival gang.
A Penny shaved is a Penny mourned.
You are in a featureless room, where the walls, floor and ceiling are white. There is light in the room, but you can’t figure out where it’s coming from. You are facing North.
>Look down
You look down. Hey, you can’t see your body! You’re dead! You win! Congratulations!
Score:1
Computers pre-programmed to slingshot around the Sun to reach relativistic speeds, his journey seems to take only months, while decades elapse on Earth. His destination: the closest Earth-like extra-solar planet. After five subjective months, his ship wakes him.
Destination reached! It looks like…
Earth?
Buggy software leads to pointless round-trip.
I kept telling him to write more simply, that it would lead to his readers actually being able to understand his stories, and maybe even liking them, for a change, but the man just wouldn’t listen and kept on writing one long run-on sentence, somehow afraid to reach the perio–
She looked on in mild distaste as I pulled my upper lip down over my chin. The dinner guests were amazed, but she wasn’t. When the guests had gone, she had me do it again, and then she pulled out a stapler.
I have no mouth, and I must scream!
An old couple were relaxing on the patio on Labor Day.
“So, did I make your summer, or what?” she asked suddenly.
“What?”
“That time I did that thing.”
“What thing?”
“You know… that thing.”
“Oh. Well, you know.”
“What?”
He hesitated, then explained:
“One swallow doesn’t make a summer.”
He knew more than anyone else.
Uncounted vistas of knowledge, coupled with instant recall.
A walking, talking encyclopedia.
An unbeaten master at Trivial Pursuit.
So they captured him, modified him. Plugged him in.
Turns out, he knew enough to supply electricity to half the country.
After all, knowledge is power!
“Yes!”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes…”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No!”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes!”
“No!”
“YES!”
“NO!”
She wouldn’t admit she was wrong.
We’d been arguing for over an hour.
Clearly, “No” was the more decisive answer to any question. It’s shorter than “Yes,” and it can’t lead to much else, unlike “Yes”.
“Oh shit!” I heard her scream from her room.
Then she ran past my room, saying, “Grab your stuff. Only the important stuff. No, leave your laptop.”
Perplexed, I asked, “What’s going on?”
“The end of the world! The shit has hit the fan!”
“What?”
“Google is going down. Permanently.”